


WebMD

by Emulator42



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, super duper fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1597298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emulator42/pseuds/Emulator42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Super cheesy schmoopy fluffy joelay where Joel is a neurotic little fuck and thinks he's got a disease instead of a crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WebMD

Joel was obsessive, maybe a little paranoid, and definitely had some anxiety issues thrown into the mix. He was a joke around the office when he went on rants about stocks. He was laughed at when he lapsed into his lectures about The plausibility of government conspiracies. Nobody was entertained, however, when Joel went into one if his obsessive episodes on WebMD. Burnie would walk into his office, see a page opened to yet another obscure illness, groan inwardly and march out to warn everyone else in the building. He would set timers to wash his hands every half hour. He would keep a canister of wet wipes on his desk to wipe down doorknobs and handles. He washed down the tables in the break room before lunch everyday. Sometimes he would even show up to work with economy-sized pumps of hand sanitizer and force everyone to use it. One time Arryn complained about period cramps at lunch and he described to her all the side effects of ovarian cysts. Another time, Rebel the dog gave Gavin a rough nip and Joel started babbling about rabies. he drove everyone up the wall. Of course, his episodes only lasted a week or two at the most, and the employees learned to tolerate it. However Burnie took it upon himself to shelter the new employees from Joel's odd habits for as long as possible. 

"We have a new hunter coming in next week." He told Joel one day at lunch. 

"And you're telling me because...?"

"Just, try not to be too weird, ok? We don't want to scare him off." Burnie sighed as Joel shrugged him off, carefully straightening the layers of his sandwich so that nothing poked out from between the bread slices.

Burnie seemed to have nothing to worry about. Ray got along with everyone like a dream. He made friends quickly and easily, amassing his own devoted fan following in only a few videos. Joel seemed fine as well, only crossing paths with Ray briefly the first few weeks. Ray seemed to like him, although his eyes glazed over a bit when Joel talked stocks in the break room. He never seemed to bother Joel much about his eccentricities, despite the fact that Joel teased him mercilessly after finding out he didn't drink. It wasn't until about a month into Ray's time at Rooster Teeth that things started to go wrong.

It started with a knock on Joel's door as he was reviewing his part in Miles' and Kerry's newest skit. He mumbled out permission to enter and Ray walked in. 

"Burnie sent me to tell you the podcast is starting in about thirty minutes. He said it would probably take you a while to wrap up whatever you were doing." Ray explained, balancing himself on the edge of Joel's desk. Joel waved a hand dismissively. 

"Actually I'm not that busy at the moment. I'll head over in a minute." He continued to read the script. Ray shifted impatiently on the desk, not sure whether to stay or leave. As Joel put down the script And got up to leave Ray shot out a hand and grabbed his wrist.

"You don't have to leave just now! I mean, we could hang out. You're one of the few people I haven't really had a chance to get to know yet." Joel shrugged, sitting back down. 

"What do you want to know about me?" Ray thought for a minute, scrunching up his face in thought. Joel couldn't help but notice how adorable he was. Wait, what? Ok that was a weird thought. 

"How old are you?"

"42"

"Wow, really? That's more of an age difference then I thought." Ray shrugged. "It could still work"

"What?"

"Nothing. Are you dating anyone?" Joel squinted suspiciously at Ray's suddenly innocent look, but answered the question anyways. 

"Not at the moment. I always seem to fall in love with the wrong guy."

"Guy?" Ray smiled wide, and that nagging thought of how cute he was popped back up in Joel's head. 

"I'm not making fun of you or anything." Ray rushed to explain. "I mean, I like dudes too." Joel nodded, still wondering where these annoying thoughts were coming from. Ray continued to chat amiably, leading most of the conversation. By the time Joel had to leave for the podcast they were thoroughly acquainted. Ray seemed pleased to know Joel better. Joel however was on the verge of a panic attack. About halfway through the conversation. Joel felt his heart start to beat faster. His palms began to sweat, and he felt as though he had a tempurature. By the time Burnie popped his head in to tell them to stop touching dicks and for Joel to get his ass to the podcast Joel was completely convinced he had come down with a freaky fast-acting virus.

Weirdly enough, once he got to the podcast set Joel's symptoms had begun to fade. He fidgeted nervously while Burnie and Gus argued about some asinine detail of a video game, anxious to get back to his office so he could look this up. Out of the corner of his eye Joel saw someone walk past the set. He turned to see Ray who gave a brilliant smile and a wave. Joel waved timidly back. Suddenly, the sweaty palms and fever came back. This time Joel's throat went dry as well. Burnie saw the exchange, turning to wiggle an eyebrow at him he saw Joel blushing and spluttering instead.

Joel excused himself immediately after the podcast ended. His symptoms had faded again and he rushed to the computer to type them in. Burnie walked into his office with an amused look on his face which immediately slid off as Joel pulled out his wet wipes from a drawer and pointed to the doorknob. Burnie groaned. 

"Jesus Joel, not this again."

"Shut up. I might have congestive heart failure. Or alcohol withdrawal. Actually, it might be supraventricular tachycardia." Joel rambled, clicking through conditions rapidly.

"You don't have any of those you fucking idiot." Burnie rolled his eyes. 

"No, you're right. It's something weirder. Maybe a new allergic reaction?" Burnie huffed and rolled his eyes again. He reached to still Joel's rapidly typing fingers but Joel leapt back. 

"Don't touch me! I might be contagious!" He yelped. "You know what? I better go home. I might see you tomorrow." Joel hopped up, packing up rapidly. 

"You fucking better." Burnie frowned. "There is no way you're getting tomorrow off."

Joel did come back the next day. He had felt fine the rest of the night, none of his symptoms reoccurring. However he walked into Ray on his way through the door and suddenly forgot how to talk. 

"Oh, hey Joel." Ray smiled. "Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to-"

"Gotta go!" Joel blurted, rushing to the safety of his office to see what the symptom if general confusion might mean. Burnie walked in again, ready to complain. 

"Fuck, are you still doing this?"

"Burnie! Just who I was hoping to see." Joel motioned for Burnie to come closer. "Can you think of anytime in the past few days I could've gotten a concussion?"

"For fucks sake Joel, you don't have a concussion."

"Yeah, I can't either. Maybe it's an allergic reaction? I'll have to ask Ray what kind of deoderant he wears. Unless you can be allergic to a person?" Burnie groaned as Joel opened a new tab to research this possibility. 

"That's it. If you're going to deny it I'm not even going to try. Good luck with your 'illness'" Burnie said, putting air quotes around the last word before turning and walking out the door. Joel spared a moment to wonder what the fuck was up with Burnie before he turned back to his research. Suddenly his phone buzzed, telling Joel he had a new email from Miles. Joel unlocked his phone, reading through the notice that they would be filming the new skit today. He shut down his laptop, going out to find them. Maybe Miles would have some insight into Joel's condition. 

Miles' insight was to laugh his ass off. 

"It's really not funny." Joel protested in annoyance.

"It really fucking is." Miles wheezed. "You're such a fucking idiot." Joel rolled his eyes, then flushed as he saw Ray in the corner of the set holding a cup of coffee. He headed over to say hi (and ask about his deoderant.)

"Here man, I got you some coffee." Ray muttered, looking at the floor. "You seemed pretty flustered this morning."

"Thanks." Joel stuttered out, accepting the cup from Ray who turned to leave. Joel reached out and grabbed his hand without thinking. "What kind if deoderant do you use?" Ray stared at him like he'd just grown another head. 

"Is that it? Do I smell? Is that why you won't go out with me?" He almost yelled. A few members of the film crew turned to stare as Joel stood there shocked. 

"I...what? No! That's just-what?" He stuttered, brain slowly processing Ray's words. 

"This morning, when I tried to ask you out. You ran away like I'd told you I had Herpes or something."

"What? No! Wait, you what?"

"I tried to ask you out dumbass!" Ray was full on shouting now. "I thought you liked me?! When you see me you get all flustered and cute, I thought you had a crush on me!"

"No no no!" Joel rushed to say. "I'm allergic to you." Ray stared as if he had just said he was naming his second head Tim. 

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I looked it up. Sweaty palms, fast heart beat, face warm to the touch, it's all just got to be an allergic reaction." Ray finally cracked a smile, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"You're a fucking idiot." He grinned. Joel blinked, suddenly realizing how dumb he had sounded. 

"Yeah." He said, slightly dazed. 

"Will you be my idiot?" Ray stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Joel's neck. Joel felt his heart start beating faster and a blush creep up his face. 

"Only if you promise to cure me." He said, internally wincing at his cheesiness. Ray didn't seem to care, drawing him down for a sweet, chaste kiss. 

"Did that help?" He smiled at the awws from people around the room. Joel felt like his heart was going a thousand miles a minute and his lips still tingled where they had touched Ray's. 

"Not even a little." He grinned, bending down to press their foreheads together. Ray rubbed their noses together, Joel going cross eyed as he tried to see Ray's smile. 

"Better try again then."

And they did, along with some cheering and wolf whistles from the film crew.


End file.
